Say You're Sorry

You were telling me everything I ever wanted to hear. You said I was your favourite and that I always made you happy. I was there, listening- like usual. You were talking, having drank too much for anyone else to put up with you- but me. You knew I'd answer the phone. You knew I'd let you stay. You knew I'd drive you home in the morning. You knew I'd resort to my old ways of bending over backwards to do anything for you. Anything and everything.

I hate it. I hate how I act when I'm around you. I hate your charm and your wit. I hate how well we get along. I hate how other people see it and how you're the only one that doesn't. I hate how I want to hear everything you're telling me, but I want you to mean it in the morning as much as you mean it at 3am.

So you apologized, but it doesn't matter. I stopped listening to you a long time ago.

A Spotless Mind

You no longer need to know my class schedule. It doesn't matter what time I'm done class on Tuesdays so we can grab lunch. Now, you get your lunch and I get my lunch.  You don't need to know when I'm available. You no longer need to remember my birthday. It would be nice, but it's not necessary. You no longer need to know if I'm staying at school over the weekend or going home. You're not in either city anyways. I sometimes wish you asked and wanted to visit, but that's not what you want. You no longer need to know my favourite movie, band, artist or tv show. You no longer need to know if I'm caught up on Entourage- but I'm not, in case you're wondering. You no longer need to know my cousins' names, my favourite colour or my biggest pet peeve. You no longer need to know anything about me, but you can't forget.

Fuck Swag

Do something

Act out

Feel more

Be unapologetic

But I Changed My Mind

I wanted the feeling to go away. Honestly and truly I did. I didn't want to keep having this constant need or want to be with you. I didn't want to drop everything the minute you wanted me or needed me. I wanted to be free from your hypnotic words and the look in your eye that I could never deny. And now I got what I wished for. I don't crave for anyone to message me, let alone you. I don't need to see someone's face everyday for it to feel like a good day. But now I miss it. I miss the wanting. I miss the needing. I miss smiling when I get a message from you or bragging about you in a casual conversation, because I really do think you're amazing. But, I don't miss you. I miss the feeling.  I miss everything and I can't get it back.

Nothing Is Easy

this is so true.

but it's for the better.