Only One Thing

if i can only love one thing, it's right when the beat drops and everyone lets go.

if i can only love one thing, it's when you look at me and the beat doesn't matter.

if i can only love one thing, it's the feeling when youre running and nothing can catch you.

if i can only love one thing, it's the sound of a busy city at three am.

if i can only love one thing, it's finding the perfect song, for the perfect day.

if i can only love one thing, it's the sound of waves crashing upon a dock.

if i can only love one thing, it's the sound of love at an airport.

if i can only love one thing, it's the feeling that i'm at the right place, at the right time.

Freeze

i want a time machine, but not to take me back into time. i don't want to undo anything or change something. i don't want to move into the future to a time when my life will hopefully be a lot more stable and organized. i want a time machine to stop time. i want to freeze the moment when the sun is perfectly set in the sky and i'm among my best friends. i want to freeze the moment at a club when i lock eyes with the cute boy in the corner and it seems like the music stops. i want to freeze the moment when my favourite song comes on the radio and i don't have a care in the world. i want a time machine so i can savour the moments longer and return to them when the sky seems to be falling.

Tear Down Expectations

i was never meant to move mountains, scale buildings or part seas. 

i was never supposed to be the smart one, the pretty one or the funny one. 

i was never able to be the strongest, the fastest or the best. 

but everything i'm not makes me everything i am.

Back to the Beginning

it only took one look from you

and i got knocked back to square one

Some People Have Real Problems

everyone's afraid of something, but that's not the point. the point is to overcome your fears and realize that once you conquer one, another will be waiting around the corner. people mistake fears as something tangible- a spider, bug or a person- which is true, but these fears can be conquered. sometimes, there are fears that can't be dealt with as easily. the fear of failure, the fear of making a mistake, the fear of acceptance. those are the fears that inhibit people from striving towards their goals and aspirations. the fear of spiders never stopped anyone from going after their dream, the fear of failure has and will continue to do so. so what can you do? just tell yourself to suck it up, take a deep breath and believe? for some, yes, that's exactly what you have to do, but for most, it's a little more complicated. there are steps that need to be taken to overcome these fears, to help belittle them so that they no longer pose a barrier between a dream and reality.

we're all scared. we're all afraid. however, please don't let these fears stop you from being who you are and believing in the beauty of your dreams.

705 Wake Up

don't be surprised when things don't go your way. 

you might have the worst karma known to man.

maybe you should work on that?

It's In Your Eyes

i first saw it two years ago. out of the corner of my eye, i could see this boy on the other side of the room, the one that swore we were just friends, give me this look. the look. a look of intensity and want. there was something in his eyes, stemming from something deeper in his heart maybe, or possibly his soul that caused him to look at me in such a way. he swore he didn't like me in any sense more than a friend. but when he thought i wasn't looking. he would give me the look. the look that he loved me.

i'm not the type of girl that guys fantasize about, nor do i necessarily want to be that girl. i'm not the girl who will stroke your ego, or say nothing is wrong when obviously something's not right. i'm not a size zero, two, four or even a six. i'm a seven-one-six on a good day. i'm not insanely sexy, upper class royalty, or hipster chic. however, none of this seems to matter to the boys who have given me the look.

the second time i got the look was from a boy i had only known six days. but that was enough for him. as he handed me juice jugs to distribute to the tables up at camp, he looked up with his beautiful green eyes and gave me the look. i'm always shocked when i see it and usually second guess myself. but it keeps happening, the next day at breakfast, the look was once again being given my way. i look around or pretend i didn't see. i see him occasionally, but the look in his eyes has disappeared. i don't know if it was the water up at camp, or the way the moon hit the lake so perfectly, but the look was present.

the most recent time was just over a month ago. we were sitting with a group of mutual friends and i was talking, as per usual and everyone was looking at me while i talked. but you looked at me, with the look. you thought i didn't see it. i've become accustomed to playing it off. i don't want to scare them by catching them giving me the look. that wouldn't be very polite. so i continued my story about nothing, although now my thoughts were all tangled and messed up, you see. because i gave you the look back as i tried to start the next statement, but i couldn't formulate a single word. i starred at you like the other two boys had looked at me. you caught me. i'm glad. maybe a little encouragement is all it takes.

Maybe... Maybe Not

you came out of no where.

you came into my life unxpected. 

we met.

i swooned.

i remember what i was wearing. 

i remember when you smiled at me. 

i remember when i started talking too much, again. 

i want to fall for someone. 

i want to fall head over heals, lose my breath when they speak style. 

i stumbled.

i tripped.

i didn't fall for you. 

but that doesn't mean i wont.

A Romantic Perspective

Maybe In Another Life

if i could write you a song, to make you fall in love

i would already have you right under my arm

but you probably think that you're cooler than me

listen

Daisy Dukes, Bikinis on Top

LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN

we're unforgettable

Lock Me Down

 

turn up your volume

I'll Tell You A Secret

take a deep breath.

look me in the eye.

answer me this, 

can you tell me that this is it?

what we've been working for is at its peak?

this is as good as it gets?

all the sobbing, the songs, the smiles,

and this is where it ends?

could this be where the road stops,

the sidewalk ends,

and the streetlights burn out?

i'll look you in the eye

and tell you this;

the streetlights will keep shining,

the road will continue,

the side walk goes forth.

baby, don't give up on us.

if you want this to get better, it will.

i promise.

The Space Between Us

thank you for being sensitive.

thank you for being funny and kind.

thank you for having that ridiculous body. 

thank you for making it fun.

thank you for not telling your sister.

The Second Sunday of May

i love you, mommy

Ohana

to know my family is to know me. i would be hard-pressed to find someone who truly understood who i am without knowing my family. without knowing my family they wouldn't know that my mom is truly the most amazing woman. whose kindness is seemingly endless and who is the only person i will not snap at for waking me up at an ungodly hour. my father, well this is where it gets scary, because when you meet him, you meet me all over again- if i was a 54 year old male. he's loud- really loud- and funny. he's maybe the only person who can actually make me laugh so hard that my abs hurt and my cheeks cramp up. most importantly though he loves my mom so much, and their love is what inspires me. it's unquestionable and so strong it would put concrete to shame.  then there's my hero, will. will, being an adult at the mere age of twelve is amazing. when my parents first told me i was going to have younger brother i was so excited, but i never expected my new baby brother to be my best friend. who would? television never depicts siblings who get along. the last time we fought was because he had put my issue of GQ in his room and i wanted to take it back to school and couldn't find it and if that's the worse it's going to get, then yeah, i'm okay with that. that's my family as individuals, but as a whole, as a unit, that's when the magic is usually seen.

something as simple as a family car ride, or setting the table is suddenly full of laughter and off-hand comments about this and that. we never talk about the tasks that have to be done, somehow it all just falls perfectly into place (by the time mom melts the butter too much... again).

i realize that this may not be the norm. i know people who have struggled with family issues their entire lives, and the subject remains taboo in their presence. i don't mean to brag or to make it seem like my family doesn't have problems because we do. my mom, despite being wonderful is annoyed easily at my messy habits, my dad's mood can fluctuate depending on one simple decision or event that occurred in the day and even my brother can rub me the wrong way. however, i've learned that it's what happens and how you feel at the end of the day that matters, and every night my family kisses each other good night.

I Choose Love, I Choose Life

sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't

Lust at First Sight

every night people are falling in love, but they don't even know it. it's the first of many steps- the meeting. sure, some may say they felt it, that whole love at first sight argument. but honestly, i don't think i can believe in that. i believe in lust at first and an instant connection. to degrade love by saying it could happen in a moment isn't right. it couldn't, or else everyone at this bar right now wouldn't be in love, instantly. so i'm not going to belittle love and say it's something as simple as a first look, or instant connection because it's so much more. love is uncontrollably reckless and horrifying; something one day day, i hope to experience. However, for now, i'll settle for the lust and want- it's an easy fix.