or we shouldnt have done anything at all. what would have happened to us if you decided not to message me. if i didn't follow you into your room that night. do you remember that night? you don't. i don't even have to ask you and i know you don't remember it. maybe i'm still putting high expectations on us and over estimating how much you like me. but sometimes, when you wake up in the middle of the night and kiss my forehead then roll over, that's the best feeling in the world. but what if none of this happened and we weren't connected to one another. you didn't think of me and i didn't think of you. i was able to meet someone else. theres all these possibilities of alternate universes where we never happened. however, in the only universe that matters- reality- we are connected. you want me. i want you. that much i know.
but now i'm lost. i'm back to really not knowing what's going on. i don't know who to talk to or how to simply tell people about us about who we are, what we are, what we think. anything. i don't know who you are to me. well i do know you're one of my best friends and that's what i want. i've always said i don't want a boyfriend. i just want someone to take on the world with. i want someone to stand beside me. i don't want a boyfriend. i want a bestfriend. fuck, i just want you back.
just come back.
or i'll just go there.
do we really want to keep going like this? why cant we try being together. i don't know what to do. i don't know what you want. but i'm too scared to ask.
i wish.. fuck i dont even know what i want. well besides you.
