Show Me Love

The Pounding in Our Heads

i love all kinds of music. i couldn't live without indie's lyrics, or hip hop's beats. i enjoy mozart's piano above hoffman and chopin's on any day and the fun sounds of top 40 are a guilty pleasure. however, there is something about house music that makes it stand out. house, techno, electro, dubstep... whatever you want to call it, it's different. there's that pulsating beat of a good house song. one that doesnt just sit in the air like a scent from a candle, but entrenches itself within your body. it seeps through your skin and penetrates into your bloodstream. soon, your heart is beating at at the same pace as the song. ever rising and lowering, coordinated like rollar coaster car, mimicking the track.

then it hits, it drops, it comes together; and if you look around the club at the right moment, if you are able to look around the club, you can see it. you can see it in the eyes of the boy next you, the girl on stage and especially in the eyes of the resident dj at his set up. they all have felt it too. they have felt the beat and the pulse that you have, connecting you in a way we rarely see in an open crowd.

so while house music may at times lack the lyrics, or the soothing sounds of other genres, i have found that only house music can bring people together in this mythic way.

some suggestions for the next time you want to connect and some keep up with the growing gypsy trend....

Diplo- Way More Brazil

Robyn- Hang With Me (Avicii Remix)

Steve Angello & AN21- Flonko

Yolando Be Cool & DCUP- We No Speak Americano

Where Am I?

i'll send you a postcard

i'll read you the news

from this new place

where i live.

but it's not home

it's just a place.

with a bed, a kitchen and chairs

with a tv, a couch and a shower.

this place isn't home.

this is four walls, with a roof and flooring.

i hate being homeless

The Build Up and the Drop

you can lead a heart to love, but you can't make it fall. no matter how hard you try and put yourself 'out there' sometimes the pieces just don't come together and the universe decides that it will not work. no matter how many times you think it over and over about the possibilities. no matter how much you think about the time together and maybe a little apart-- just to see if the heart does grow fonder. it doesn't mean it will all work out. it means you tried. it means that you're living, and loving and trying. it means that you're braver than you think and stronger than you seem. so sometimes, the heart won't fall, the stars won't allign and the main characters won't kiss before the credits but it will be in times like this that true character will shine through.

You Were Only the Beginning

i remember when it all started. it was before the college dorm rooms, before the late night cram sessions, before the blonde hair, the high nights and the higher heels. it was the time of braces, of third period history, of sharing lunches and varsity sports. it was there that it all ended with you, but started everything else. with you, it started much before that. it started in grade five, at the community dance, my friend introduced us. i was wearing a new  gray t-shirt that my mom had bought me at the mall. i wanted you to like me like you liked all the other girls. you were a player and a flirt even back then. i was the only one though, that you didn't slow dance with and didn't hug goodnight.

i was okay with that, even at the age of ten i was ready to compromise. and then it continued until grade ten. until you had finally been rejected yourself, and i was there to talk to you over icq to try and fix everything. i was determined that you and i would be happy. i had never had a boyfriend, but i knew about relationships, i was watching them happen all around me. so i told you, well actually, i wrote it on a website (funny how things come full circle) and i remember exactly what i wrote. "i'm not asking for forever, i'm just asking for a chance." you said it surprised you. bullshit. you knew it was coming. you said you didn't think it could work. bullshit. it would have. you said you still loved her. fact. to this very day, you still love the girl you chose over me. but it was never me or her. it was always her, it just took me another five years to realize that. well, i guess that makes the most sense, five years of wanting you took five more years to learn to love you, as a friend. as a great friend that i am lucky to have.

every time i see you out, i still think about how we could have had some fun together. then i see you look at her, and i can only hope, that one day, someone as wonderful as you will look at me that way.

you're where it all started. from that day in grade ten, when i told you i liked you, and faked sick the next day so i wouldnt have to face you at school, that's when it started. i started wanting to find love, find someone that cared for me and wanted me back. it's been a hopeless search. for you, it took fifteen years of your life. for me, it's taken a little while longer, but it'll come. just like it did for you. hopefully, i won't have to break any hearts in the process. you're where it all started, i'm searching for the person to make it end.

Maybe it Could be More

maybe it's not about the number of shooting stars.

maybe it's not about the eyelash, the penny or 11:11.

maybe it's not about an awakening kiss, a tale as old as time or a magic carpet ride.

maybe it's not about the the hug, the kiss or the sex.

maybe it's not about the number of petals on a flower, the status chain letter or the twisting of a stem.

but maybe, just maybe...

it doesn't have to be. 

maybe, just maybe...

it could be so much more than everything put together.

it could be so much more than a passing thought, a look in your eye or a feeling in your stomach.

it could be so much more than your ripped jeans, my favourite dress or the shared hat. 

it could be so much more than your mesmerizing smile, intense eyes and hypnotic swag. 

it's a great shame we'll never find out.

In the Garden of Good and Better

it's all about you

it always has been

They Don't Live Like Us

they say to ignore everything bad, and keep searching for the good. 

but the good is too hard to find.

they say to reach for the sky,

but then they took away my airplane.

they say you're only young once and to enjoy it, 

but then tell me i'm not old enough to understand. 

they say to live in the moment, 

but it has already passed. 

they say to live without regrets, 

but you wouldn't let me live without you.

they say to treat others the way you would like to be treated,

but then you left me in the cold, when i built you a cabin.

so now i don't listen. 

A Compromise

for now, there will be no love.

but, i'll settle for lust. 

Losing My Balance

i try to walk away, and i stumble. 

listen

Mistaken Identity

there was a boy laying next to me.

all i wanted to see was your face. 

but all i saw was his.

Reincarnation

when i die, i want to become a shooting star,

so people will look up and make wishes on me. 

Never Enough

i know i did everything right. i didn't call or text too much or act too immature. i let you go out with your boys and have time to yourself. i amused your whimsical thoughts of dropping out of school and going on a world adventure. i listened to every word you ever said to me, and acted like you were the only person in the room when you talked. i've never been so unintentionally focused on anything, as i was on you. but to you. none of that mattered. well, it mattered, but not enough. it didn't trump your broken heart or your destructive thoughts. it didn't matter enough.  i did everything right, but it wasn't enough. maybe its for the best, because right now is great. i love right now. but a small speck of my being still believes that right now could have been a thousand times better if it all mattered enough.

When We Were Young

there was a time, some years ago, when everything made sense. i would run to school excited to play with my friends and learn more about everything. i would play basketball on the weekends and play outside with my friends. everything was simple. everything was perfectly in place. the problem is, they tell you not to grow up fast. to enjoy your youth. but i never listened. when i was six i wanted to be eight. when i was eight, i wanted to be fourteen. i always thought fourteen sounded like a cool age. now i'm twenty, and i would do anything to be six again. there's something about a smile at such a young age. it's not broken, or tarnished. it doesn't hide years of failed relationships or broken promises between best friends. it encompasses every joyful feeling inside of you and showcases it for the world to see. at twenty, i wish i could smile like i did when i was seven. i'm still a very happy person and always have been. but when i was seven, the suffering of high school, the pain of first year and the sadness of stories ending too soon hadn't impacted me. if i didn't want to smile, or was mad about something- it seems odd now that i could be mad about anything at such a great age-i didn't smile. but when i did, everything was wonderful. i want to feel like that again, i want to smile with no inhibitions. i want to roll down hills and scrape my knee. i want to play soccer baseball for gym class and count down the hours til home time. i want to bike ride over to my best friend's house and ask them to play, or better yet, arrange the play date through our mothers. i want to be seven again or at least live like i am.