Give & Get

i'm not one for extended periods of cuddling. i don't want someone to message me every hour on the hour and expect me to answer within five minutes. dinners out and little cafes are nice, but don't come close to locally owned diners with five dollar meal deals that feed us both. i would love to be on a yacht, but a canoe is just as romantic in my eyes. i don't like flowers because they die. give me something that will last. give me your heart. i'll give you mine.

Feels Good

it feels good to be over you babes. 

it feels good to have a moment in my head without you interrupting. 

it's different; weird even.

i was a slave to you.

i was consumed by your every mannerism and feature. 

playing on repeat. 

a broken record. 

a tortured look. 

Just One Time

I just need it to work out one time. Just one time so I know that I won't be completely alone for the rest of my life. Yes, I understand that I will always have my amazing friends and my loving family. But I read these stories and see these pictures that actually do say a thousand words, all about love and being completed. I don't feel incomplete but I can only imagine how nice it would be for someone to always be on your side and always be there when you need them to be. That's such a nice idea, but sometimes I doubt I'll ever find out.

Come Closer, Stay Longer

it's not a matter of lust or even like anymore, it's a matter of want.

if i want something, i'm going to get it.

Another Time & Place

i'd let you finish but you never let us begin

Depopulated

the world has 6 775 235 741 people on its surface

yet i still cant find you

They Didn't Have Faces

It's not like I want to be in this position again. After he fucked me over time and time again my heart knew better. It was healing; yes in an unconventional way, but healing nonetheless. I was having fun. Yes, there were some consequences, but I've always said I'm going to live my life the way I want and that's what I was doing. So they didn't have faces. The boys I mean. No eyes that I would look into, no mouth that I would kiss. Kissing didn't happen and when it didn't it wasn't a nice kiss. It was hard and rough and although that's exactly what is needed sometimes, sometimes it's not. I was okay with missing that though. I was quickly learning about my emotions and how to put them to sleep. Even the boy that had been in my mind for four years, he didn't even make my heart skip, or my breath leave my body when he asked to come over one late night. He never made it. Probably for the best. So I was okay. I wasn't the person I was, I wasn't the person I was going to be, but I was enjoying living.

Then you got into my car. Then you made a joke. Then you said my name. Then I remembered to breathe. Then you talked to me at the bar. Then you said we'd hang out soon. Then you looked at me. Then you really looked at me. Then I got your phone number and messaged you and you messaged me back. Then I remembered to breathe again.

It had been awhile. I forgot about the rush. I forgot about the pounding in my head. The presence in my mind. The tornado of feelings circling throughout my body. I forgot that this is what it was like to maybe like someone again. Not like them like I did with him. That feeling will not happen again for a very long time. But this is a nice change. Unlike all the boys that didn't have faces, the first thing I noticed was yours.