Please (never) Go

 we weren't a we so it seems quasi- contradictory to wait for you to leave my head. yet here i am again in a known and familiar place. a place i come to too often and one i always try to avoid. but the world has an alternate path and it seems to like tossing me back into this place. this place where i still lead my life without tripping over the thought of you. i'm not consumed by you, like i have been others although i would rather not admit it. i do not think of you and your antics or your plans for the day. i do not care if you were with your friends tonight or stayed home to chill. although i do not care, and i do not think of you consistently you are still in my head. you still take up time in my day periodically and usually when i least expect it. the mention of your favourite sport or when i hear the beginning bars of track 16 all makes me think of you and because of these things i'm still waiting. waiting for you to leave my head but the worst part is, i hope you never do.

You Made Me Want You

i don't know what we were. i don't know if you ever actually wanted to talk to me or if you were just maintaining a good relationship for when you returned. i don't know why you wanted me. we seemed like total opposites. we are total opposites. yet you still talked to me, and i still craved talking to you. back and forth. a late message here, a story there... nothing seemed to change. we both knew what we were waiting for. we talked about when you'd be home. when we could see each other again. i guess my actions that followed really jeopardized how you thought of me and our future. it's weird to say our future. it makes it seem like we were something more. something deep. we weren't. we were shallow, but now we're nothing. i understand your reasoning but you're taking no time to understand mine. maybe i don't mean that much to you. maybe the effort it would take for you to tell me really what's bothering you is not worth seeing me again. i wish it was. once i wished you'd be passionate about something. anything. i wanted you to show excitement or love or feeling. i guess i should have been more careful wishing because now you're showing a feeling i never wanted to see.