Get Out of My Head

i hate my mind. i hate how it processes information. i want to be realistic and take a situation for what it is. i don't want my mind to start looking into the past and cause me to make certain decisions due to the consequences of past ones. i don't want to look into the future or try and figure out how weekends would go with us living in different cities. i don't want to have my mind, i want to turn it off. i want to live and love and hurt and cry because of how i feel not because of how i perceive a situation. i hate not being in control and right now, i'm losing to myself.