I can lie in my writing. I can type words that make it seem like it's all okay now. That I don't need you and didn't miss you. I can tell myself that when I was driving to see you I wasn't shaking because I was so anxious and that when I saw you again, for the first time in almost a year, my heart didn't drop. I can say that I didn't want you to kiss me, because it would ruin our friendship. I can say that I didn't want you to tell me that you felt the exact same way I do. I can write and say and tell myself all these things. But in the end, I can't. I can't make myself believe in what I'm writing or what I'm going to tell you and all my friends. I can't stop myself from thinking and thinking and thinking about us. I wish I could, but I can't lie to myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment